
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8746219.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Character:
      Sam_Winchester, Ash_(Supernatural), Adam_Milligan, Jo_Harvelle, Dean
      Winchester, John_Winchester, Jimmy_Novak, Ellen_Harvelle, Bobby_Singer,
      Chuck_Shurley
  Additional Tags:
      Angst, Horror, Alternate_Universe, Drama, Established_Relationship, First
      Time, Hurt/Comfort
  Collections:
      Sinful_Desire
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-08-13 Completed: 2012-09-05 Chapters: 3/3 Words: 3244
****** The Monster You Created ******
by Preciousmoment [archived by sinfuldesire_archivist]
Summary
     The very start of the end of Sam's life began with him waking up
     without his brother there. He was alone, frightened, only 11 but he
     knew what he had to do to survive, even if it costed him his
     innocence.
     Dean and Sam later cross paths, but will it ever be the same?
Notes
     Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally
     archived at Sinful-Desire.org. To preserve the archive, we began
     importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in
     November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted
     announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or
     know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on
     Sinful_Desire_collection_profile.
***** Prologue *****

Author's notes: I know this is short but the chapters will be longer
R&R
===============================================================================
Waking up to screaming was admittently bad for Sam, but waking up to dead
silence was so much worse. He had stirred that morning, mummbling his brothers
name. Sam expected him to be awake, because he usually was, waiting for the
younger Winchester. At the fact he got no reply Sam jolted forwards. The shower
wasnt running but Dean's bags were still there.
 
Blindly, Sam reached over onto the stand, picking up his phone and dialing a
one before hitting call. Dean had always been the number one speed dial...as
was Sam for Dean...it was a mutual agreement, a silent one at that.
 
It rang a few times before hitting voice mail. Dean /never/ let it hit voice
mail when it was Sam calling, and that was when a very anxious 11 year old
dialed his dad's number. Again, there was no answer. At this point, he knew
what he had to do.
 
Sam yanked on his clothes, took his cellphone and headed out. The world around
him spun as he whipped his head around. There was no sign of life, anywhere,
the town was barren with a thick smoke fog. Now sam's heart was thudding
against his chest.
 
"DEAN?!" he shouted, hopeing for an answer, begging for one, needing one. The
younger Winchester suddenly felt a million times smaller. "ANYONE! PLEA–" he
was cut off by the ringing of his phone, god everything was happening so fast.
 
He fumbled to get it out of his pocket just as it was about to stop ringing and
pressed it to his ear. A sigh came from the other end, obviously hopeing to hit
voice mail.
 
"Sammy–I need you to listen and do everything i tell you fast alright?" The
older Winchester instructed, his voice strained.
 
"Dean! Whats going on?!" The young boys voice was filled with panic and he bit
back a sob. Crying was pathetic, it made him weak, he wouldnt allow himself to
do it.
 
"You need to run Sam, the impala keys are in my duffle–" the line went dead and
Sam clutched the phone in his hand before running into the motel room. He found
the keys and Dean's wallet. The younger winchester didnt bother to check it, he
just ran to the impala, got in and started the engine. There was nothing left
in this town, not anymore.
 
Sam Winchester headed out of the small town, knowing he wouldnt be seeing his
dad or Dean for a long time, just by his brothers voice...he knew he'd be on
his own for a while.
***** the pain wil never end *****

Author's notes: Soo, this is the first chapter
Please please please read and review!
===============================================================================
~4 years later~
 
There was a lung strangling amount of cigarette smoke that clouded the air in a
small pub like establishment that mixed with the stale scent of alcohol. It all
filled and clouded Sam's senses. A couple of leering, hungry eyes followed the
boy and they grabbed at his ass. Sam finally came across a decent looking
one—he was wearing a suit and glassy eyed look as his eyes traveled up and down
the young Winchester in approval. He slid in the seat across from the man, his
lips quirking up in a smirk.
 
"Like what you see?" Sam asked over the crowd, trying his best to hide the
disgust from his eyes and voice. This whole thing sickened him, but he wouldnt
give them the pleasure of seeing him like that, it would only get the sickos
off more.
 
"How much do you charge?" The man quirked a brow, his voice rough with lust.
Sam hid his best to keep from shuddering under that gaze. "How much to fuck
that pretty little mouth of yours?" He continued, his tongue tracing over his
lips. Just the words alone made Sam wince and took in a sharp breath.
 
"60" he stated, practically emotionless as he looked upon the man.
 
"You swallow?"
 
"Thats another 20 bucks"
 
The man snorted and smiled lazily at the boy, taking a hold on his arm. "Follow
me out back...i want people to see, ill advertise you well you little cockslut"
he growled, desire sharp in his voice. Sam was dragged out of the bar off to
the side and pushed roughly onto his knees. A soft whimper came from the young
boy as the man unbuttoned his slacks, letting them drop, and wipped out his
cock right infront of Sam. "Open your mouth, whore!" He commanded, stroking
himself until he was rock hard. The guy was huge and the second Sam wrapped his
lips around the shaft it was thrusted into his mouth.
 
Tears sprung free as Sam gagged and the man curled his fingers into Sam's hair,
yanking it.
 
"So pretty like that...a big cock in your mouth and those tears" he purred,
thrusting again. Sam chocked on a sob as he endured it. It was bad enough he
was doing this where drunk and horney men could see, but when the sick fuck
continued to talk? It drove Sam over the damn edge.
 
Soon enough the man blew his load, pulled back from Sam, threw his money at him
and strolled away. Sam gathered the bills, swallowing hard as the bitter taste
remained in his mouth.
 
He slept in the back seat of the impala that night, curled in on himself as
tears leaked down his cheeks. His phone went off and he clutched his knees to
his chest tighter.
 
Sam felt dirty, used and abused, more then he ever did most nights
 
~^*^~
 
"Sammy...damn it....answer the phone!" Was the short message that Dean had left
Sam the previous night after calling. He might not have said much, but his
cracking voice spoke volumes. It had caused Sam's heart to clench tightly
within his chest as he drove on towards...by what the map and all the signs
said, New York City.
 
And Sam not knowing that Dean was there, couldnt hurt him, right? Well as long
as they didnt cross paths, it couldnt hurt him. But if they did? Well, you'll
see.
 
Sam parked the impala a few blocks away from the bar he set his eyes on, got
out and locked it up tight. He headed for the bar, knowing he was bound to
score more money, he needed it. With only 80 dollars to his name in New York?
He wouldnt last very long at all.
 
In no time he was sitting with an older man, working his charm best he could
without wanting to puke. The man had introduced himself as Travis but claimed
Sam would be calling him 'daddy' and 'master' tonight. He lifted his beer,
holding it up to Sam' lips.
 
"Go on...open that puurty mouth of yous and take a drink" the man slurred
slighty, leaning in and stealing a kiss from the young boy. Sam had gagged on
the taste of the beer, but as soon as he swallowed it, his mind went a bit
fuzy. He snickered and Travis gave him another long pull of it.
 
Not much later, Dean Winchester walked in, and his emerald eyes travled the
entire bar and landed on a drunken Sam stumbling after a man in his mid-
twenties. The instant he saw him, he knew. "Sammy" he breathed. Then a hard
truth hit him when the man attacked his brother's lips and Sam just allowed it
too.
 
Dean reacted and raced at the man, snatching Sam from his grip. "You sick
asshole!" He accused. The pull, jolt, and voice sobered Sam up rather quickly.
"Dont ever. Touch my brother. Again!" Dean snarled, a promise of death in his
eyes. Travis ran from the scene, a string of profanities left him as he did so.
 
"Sammy?" Dean looked down at the 15 year old, eyes wide.
 
"D-Dean?" Sam stuttered in responce just before he went limp.
 
~^*^~
 
Dreams can be terrible things, they deceive the eye as to of what is real and
what isnt. Dreams are just wistful thinking played out in our minds to help us
'rest easy'. But dreams to Sam Winchester always lead to no real good.
 
He sat up quickly on the bed and groaned instantly, rubbing his forhead. Stupid
hangovers...stupid perverted ass men that get cheap thrills from boys like
Sam..stupid Dean trying to.../Dean/!
 
Sam's eyes snapped open and wandered around the room. The walls were a mustard
yellow color while the floor was a rust red. It may not have been all that
appealing to look at, but it reminded Sam of the old days. Thats when he found
himself thinking of last night yet again. It was merely a blurry haze in Sam's
mind. He shifted in the bed and then felt a pair of arms tighten around him.
 
"Sammy...stop movin'" the older Winchester whined, pulling his brother even
closer, as if it was honestly possible. He had a death grip on Sam that wouldnt
break until he wanted it to.
 
"Let go! Get the fuck off me!" Sam shouted, wiggling in Dean's arms, trying to
get free. Dean groaned, his eyes flickering open and meeting the dark gaze of
Sam. He reluctantly let go of Sam and the younger Winchester jumped from the
bed. With a slight wince from the pounding headache of course.
 
"Little hung over there, Sammy?" Dean teased, a lazy smile ghosting over his
pouty lips.
 
"Dont call me that! Dont touch me!" Sam snapped, clenching his fists into tight
little balls. "Who the hell do you think you are?! This is kidnapping!" He
proclaimed.
 
"Im your brother, your family, and i saved you from that pedophile last night"
Dean said paitently, sitting forward. He knew Sam would probably run for the
door so he had to be prepared for it. A bitter laugh left the younger boy.
 
"What right do you have to call yourself family?" Sam sneered, "you may be
blood but you aint family anymore, you screwed that up when you and dad ran out
4 years ago. I got no family."
 
"Sam..we were trying to pro—"
 
"Bullshit! I was 11 and you two just up and left me! I was /terrified/!" Sam
shook his head, he shook away his tears as well. "I dont need you...i dont need
John..i dont need anyone. I've been doing fine all on my own"
 
"What? Whoring yourself around, Sam?" Dean finally snapped and Sam flinched at
his words. They were so harsh, not to mention , Dean added 'for men'. It caused
Sam to crumble and his walls built up higher then they'd ever been. Tears
welleDean cd in little Sammy's eyes and Dean's cold expression dropped like
that.
 
"Screw you" Sam hissed, backing up when Dean took a step forward.
 
"Sammy...I...Please" Dean uttered, reaching out for Sam who only moved away.
 
"Screw you!" He repeated, only louder this time. Years ago, he would've ran to
Dean for comfort when he was upset, but it was different now.
 
The boy ran for the door, but he wasnt quick enough though, Dean caught him by
the arm and spun him around. The older boy pressed the younger to the wall,
daring him to fight the grip that was held on him.
 
Dean's eyes were dark as his image began to fade. Sam thrashed against an
invisible forced with bewildered eyes
 
Sam sat forwards on a queen mattress, seeing a man glaring down at him. "I said
/get up/ you whore! M'wifes gonna be hom—" the man—Travis was cut off by the
sound of a horn and he swore under his breath.
 
Only sheets covered Sam's lack of clothes and he winced as he was forced out of
bed. He weakly recalled that the man had fucked his ass raw merely hours
previous and it stung like a son of bitch. His clothes were thrown at him and
he tugged them on as he was shoved into the closet. "Hey!" He tried shouting,
but it was muffled by dusty clothing.
 
"Stay quiet and i'll give you 300, boy" Travis hissed, closing the door and
leaving Sam in the dark.
 
Like i said, dreams can be terrible things, even more so for Sam Winchester.
***** Chapter 3 *****

Author's notes: Im so so so soooooo sorry it took me so long and this chapters
a bit short, but i got a bit of block.
Read and review!
===============================================================================
All of two hours sam had been trapped in that damned closet. All of two hours
he had to listen to this constant bickering between a couple with serious
issues. All of two hours Sam had to think about his brother and draw his walls
up even higher....all of two damn hours.
 
Screams sounded; bullets rang; and then there was silence. Sam burried himself
tightly in a corner of the all to small closet and footsteps fell heavy upon
the floor, or at least thats how Sam heard it. His heart hammered like a drum
in his chest and he placed a hand over his mouth. It was happening...he finally
got himself in far to deep and he was gonna die.
 
There was a creak and Sam pressed against the wall so hard his back began to
ache against the pressure. A whimper unsucessfully tried to move past his lips,
but he wouldn't allow. The nob twisted in what seemed like slow motion and
light began to blind the younger Winchester.
 
"Samuel Winchester" a voice said as Sam full heartedly tried to rid himself of
the pain from the blinding light. His name had such a formal ring to it as the
man spoke it, and Sam hated it. The man noticed his distaste in his expression
and blinked. Lids covered blue orbs for a moment. "Do you prefer Sam?"
 
"I prefer to know who the fuck you are and how you know me" he spat, twisting
out of reach when the man tried to touch him.
 
"Could you please refrain from such voulgar language?" A sigh left slightly
parted lips. Slowly vision returned to Sam and he nearly jumped out of his skin
as he saw a /bullet/ hole in the man's arm. The younger winchester reached for
his holy water and splashed it in the man's face.
 
"Cristo!" He shouted, expecting the other to be hissing and withering. But no,
there he stood, looking a bit annoyed as he wipped away excess water.
 
"Sam, I assure you, I am not a demon" he said with a frown as he fixed his tan,
leather trench coat. "I am an angel of the lord, here to free you from your
harlot ways" he announced proudly.
 
"Angels," Sam grit out bitterly, "angels dont exist you whack job"
 
"We do too...I am the angel of Thursday, Castiel...and this" he motioned to
himself, or rather the person he was wearing. "Is my vessel, Jimmy No—" he was
cut off then by a female voice.
 
"Back away from the child, Castiel" the woman comanded softly, watching Sam
press himself further into the wall. She swept her blonde hair behind her
shoulders and her blue eyes were soft, warm, and caring. "Are you alright,
Sam?" Her voice was equally as soft, and her smile too.
 
"Who're you people?" Sam whispered, a bit daunted by the two who stood before
him.
 
"Come with us, and we'll explain everything." She promised, offering a hand to
the 15 year old. Sam took a moment before slowly taking the woman's hand.
 
~^*^~
 
"Dean!"
 
A voice shouted out, causing the older Winchester to jerk awake. He was tangled
up in sheets that were a bit sweat incrusted. A sticky feeling resided at the
corners of his eyes and he gasped softly. "Sammy...he" he started to whisper.
 
John Winchester stood over his son, a scowl of his lips. "He's dead Dean, you
gotta stop getting your hopes up with this damn thing" he said gruffly, turning
away from the boy. Dean's eyes narrowed into dangerous slits as his father
spoke. Sam couldn't be dead, Dean wouldn't let himself believe it.
 
"We gotta go to New York...dad I'm so sure!" He pleaded softly, scenes of his
dream clouding his mind, clouding his judgement.
 
"Damn it boy!" John barked, slamming his fist on the cheap wooden table. "Thats
what you said the last few thousand times!"
 
"But I—"
 
"Save it, Dean"
 
"But Dad I—"
 
"I said save it!" John growled, not looking to his older son. "Get dressed,
now, we're moving on, theres nothing here for us, I'll be in the truck" he
commanded, snatching his duffle and journal up.
 
"No"
 
"What?"
 
There was a deathly calm stare the two shared.
 
"I. Said. No." Dean gritted out, a frown taking to his lips as he watched anger
flicker over his father's expression.
 
"I'll leave your ass here"
 
"I dont care, I'm gonna go find Sammy"
 
"SAM IS—" John stopped himself, seething at this point. "Fine!" He snapped,
stabbing a finger in Dean's direction. "But when you finally realize he's dead,
dont come crawling back.". And with that John exited, slamming the door behind
himself.
 
Dean sat there silently until he heard his father's monster of a truck's engine
come to life and tires screech away.
 
"Sam's not dead, and I'm gonna prove it."
 
After a minute, Dean brought his phone to his ear, waiting.
 
"Bobby? I need a ride."
 
~^*^~
 
Sam's eyes flickered between the burger, fries, and milkshake to the man and
woman who sat across from him. He found out many things he would've never
expected to ever learn.
 
Number one; angels were real, and he figured out they were dicks completely on
his own.
 
Number two; his father wasn't mourning over his mother as much as he would've
liked to think. The woman, who introduced herself as Kate Milligan, had told
him so. She mothered a son of John Winchester and named him Adam.
 
Adam was a year or two younger then Sam.
 
"Can i meet him?" He murmured, picking at his fries absentmindedly. Kate
flashed a soft smile.
 
"Well of course you can!" She said, extremely happy at how well the young
Winchester was taking this. "You will be staying with us after all"
 
The words she spoke had Sam frozen in place. He didnt like staying in one place
all that long.
 
"No"
 
"You have no choice, Sam, I will not allow you to be out on the streets."
 
"No" Sam repeated in monotone, his expression blank as he lowered his eyes to
the table.
 
"Sa—"
 
"You aren't my mother!" He snapped, slapping away the food in front of him. It
all went crashing to the ground. There was a tense moment as Sam looked up. His
eyes were slipping black. "You aren't eve—DONT TOUCH ME" he put his palms out
and Kate slammed back against a wall. Power pulsed through his finger tip and
his eyes slowly fell limp to his sides as ragged breaths came from him. Time
was slowing again as he slowly realized what he had done.
 
"I—" his eyes were wide as Kate slid to the floor, struggling to sit up.
 
"Sam" she rasped, but he didn't hear her. Blood pumped in his ears and not much
later he was up and out the door.
 
His didn't look back once, despite them calling his name.
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